Choosing to Surround Myself with the Right People

For a long time, I thought loyalty meant keeping people in my life no matter what. I gave chance after chance, even when I knew deep down they didn’t truly have my best interest at heart. I would tell myself, “It’s just who they are,” or “They’ll change,” while quietly ignoring how drained, unsupported, and even invisible I felt around them.

It took some hard lessons to realize that not everyone who smiles at you is rooting for you. Some people only clap when you’re down. Others stick around as long as they benefit from your energy, but disappear the moment you need theirs. Learning to see that clearly—and accepting it—wasn’t easy. But it was necessary.

What I’ve come to understand is this: the people you surround yourself with can either water your growth or slowly poison it. When I started letting go of relationships that didn’t feel safe, uplifting, or genuine, I created space for better ones to come in. And the difference was undeniable.

Now, I’m intentional about my circle. I notice who listens without judgment, who tells me the truth even when it stings, and who claps the loudest when I win. Those are the people who truly want the best for me, not just the best from me.

It feels lighter now. I laugh more. I trust more. I don’t feel like I have to shrink myself to make anyone else comfortable. And the more I choose people who genuinely care, the more I learn to care for myself.

If I could tell my younger self one thing, it would be this: don’t be afraid to outgrow people. Don’t feel guilty for protecting your peace. The right people will never make you question your worth—they’ll only remind you of it.